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Random Computer Puns
If you are a computer junkie, like me, then you probably will get a kick out of these random computer quotes all written by JavaScript.
Insert into <HEAD>
<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"> <!-- Begin function stClock() { window.setTimeout( "stClock()", 1000 ); today = new Date(); self.status = today.toString(); } function getMessage() { var ar = new Array(20) ar[0] = "Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster." ar[1] = "2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2." ar[2] = "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong." ar[3] = "Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes." ar[4] = "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features." ar[5] = "If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway." ar[6] = "Best file compression around: \"DEL *.*\" = 100% compression" ar[7] = "The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in." ar[8] = "If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something." ar[9] = "BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding" ar[10] = "BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!" ar[11] = "It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious." ar[12] = "Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..." ar[13] = "Every solution breeds new problems." ar[14] = "As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing." ar[15] = "Two wrongs are only the beginning." ar[16] = "Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS..." ar[17] = "All computers wait at the same speed." ar[18] = "DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors." ar[19] = "Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view." var now = new Date() var sec = now.getSeconds() alert("Quote:\r" + ar[sec % 20]) } // End --> </SCRIPT>
Insert into <BODY>
<BODY onLoad="stClock()"> <CENTER> <FORM> <INPUT TYPE="button" VALUE="Random Computer Quote" onClick="getMessage()"> </FORM> </CENTER>
Other Options